Sunshine Petals

Like living a rerun

I have not talked to the aunt that I mentioned in a previous post for a couple of days and haven't any plans to do so. I feel bad about it but at the same time... feel a bit of relief.

We were talking about when my surgery is and she questioned me over and over about how it was going to be done. I told her the doctor told me either way would be possible. In some instances, coiling isn't possible. In my cause, it was so that is what I prefer. She couldn't understand how the doctor would let me decide what to do. Well, wasn't the purpose of the angiogram to decide how it had to be done? She kept asking me that over and over. And I kept saying, yes, but it showed that either way could be done. He couldn't very well decide to coil if the type of aneurysm I have it wouldn't work with. But she just couldn't comprehend why the doctor let me decide.

This must have went on for 20 minutes. The same fucking questions over and over. Why would he let you decide? He's the doctor. What was the purpose of the angiogram if you're going to decide, not the surgeon? OMG, I answered the same questions and explained it over and over. Felt like I was playing 20 questions with the same questions repeated 10 times! She brought up her cousin who had heart surgery and was given the option of the type of valve. Okay, so he was given a choice too. BUT he isn't a doctor and he asked the doctor what one he advised.

When she heard I would probably come home the next day... are you kidding me? well, you'll be in ICU the first day, right? No. Well, you'll be in a 24 hour watch, I'm sure. They can't just put you in a room and ignore you. No. Now, I also went to a seminar last week at another hospital and that doctor said most patients go home the next day too. I told her that. She has always doubted my doctors and I could hear it in her voice and it was really pissing me off but I kept patiently answering the same questions over and over and over again.

After hearing, I don't know how a doctor could let you decide the surgery for what seemed like the hundredth time, I calmly said would you like my surgeons phone number so you can call him? Holy shit, she went off on me with "that voice". See, it's okay for her to say what she wants but don't you ever dare say something back to her. I said well, you don't seem to think much of what I've told you. Now, why would you think I want to talk to him??? Then I raised my voice. I didn't yell because truthfully I'm afraid of bursting the bubble in my brain! I was told to keep calm and my blood pressure down. After raising my voice to her, she says, why are you yelling at me? WTF? I was not yelling at her. My husband was in the room and he knows I didn't yell at her.

She says in her damn snotty tone, I think we need to change subjects. Oh, yeah, I said, definitely. And she says again about me yelling. I said okay, I've had enough of this and hung up. Then I cry, why does she do this me? Hubby was so mad and kept telling me to calm down. I haven't let myself cry this hard since hearing I had an aneurysm.

Well, it gets worse. My son was so upset over all this and after we went to bed, he decided to go visit them. I didn't know about it until 2 days later when he told me what he had done. It evidently was very nasty. He asked her why she was trying to kill his mother and that started a war. He says that he is 26 years old and has seen how she treats me and was fed up with it. I guess the first thing she told him was that I yelled at her. So this was all my fault. He told me everything he brought up, she would twist to make it my fault.

I do feel bad about all of this. I guess I was supposed to just take her shit like I've done for 54 years and not said anything.

I'm just so tired of it all.

What is wrong with this woman?

The day I was told I had the aneurysm, I called my aunt who ends every conversation with "give me a buzz and let me know what's going on".  I'm still undecided on whether that comment is meant with concern or just plain being nosey. She wasn't home and I told my uncle who said he was sorry to hear that. He said that my aunt was at Walgreens but had her cell phone. So I called and first asked if she could talk. She said yes, so I said I just wanted to let you know that they found a problem and I guess those headaches I get might have meant something. So I say I have an aneurysm. She says, are you kidding me? Ummm, no, really, I do.

Oh, boy, the woman freaked out. She sounded like she was starting to hyperventilate and said hold on, I've got to catch my breath. I was thinking, oh, shit, I'm going to cause her to have a heart attack in Walgreens. I kept saying, are you okay? She starts talking and wants to know, what, where, how and why. I said right now, I'm on the way to see the neurosurgeon so can't tell you much. She kept saying, you're so young, you shouldn't have these problems, which pisses me off. How about a child with cancer, should they have those problems? Well, at the end of the conversation, she had me more unnerved than I had been! I was thinking why does she do this shit to me? She even said that I sounded calmer than she was! WTF? Oh, yeah, I was calm all right.

Does she not realize that her carrying on over things is more upsetting? I could hear her voice quivering and I'm sure she was all teary eyed. I kept saying I'm sorry I called you. Wouldn't my uncle have said not to call if he thought she'd react like this? I know it's upsetting to hear bad news but my God, shouldn't you try to not make the person feel worse? I truly had no idea she would react like that.

So we ended the conversation when she got herself under control. She told me to make sure I called immediately after seeing the surgeon. She would keep her cell phone with her. So I call and you won't believe this? She answers and is basically whispering. I said, is it okay to call now? Oh, yeah, just a minute. Okay, I'm in the lobby now and can talk. I said, the lobby? Yes, we're at the movies. WTF? I'm thinking, she told me to call. I said ok, I'll let you go. NOOO, I knew you were going to call and I had my cell phone on my lap. I said I didn't know you were going to the movie or I wouldn't have bothered you. So she says that she was so upset that my uncle thought a movie would take her mind off of things! I'm thinking to myself... you have got to be kidding me! Now, if I were upset and waiting for a fairly important call, I wouldn't go to the movies! If she was truly that concerned how could she even concentrate on the movie? Side note here: They were on a cruise last year with another couple and the woman died. My uncle had him play bridge the day after to take his mind off of his wife's death. Is it me or does this all sound strange?

I didn't give her all the info from the dr. because I didn't want to cause her another episode in the movie. And truthfully, she upsets me even more. Then a couple of days later, she was asking about the risks of surgery and I forgot and mentioned about it being on my ophthalmic artery that loss of sight in my eye was a risk. She yelled, WHAT? I'm thinking, Oh My God, here we go again. She said well, whatever the odds, you don't have to worry because it's not going to happen to you. Can you say denial? So actually, since she yelled WHAT? I haven't mentioned anything to her other than to answer the questions that I've already answered a hundred times.

Yesterday was her birthday and we were actually invited to go out to dinner with them. And holy shit, she picked us up. Hubby and I together have never been driven anywhere by her since they moved here in 2003. But that's a whole other story. Anyway, the other day I had been going through death certificates (I do genealogy) and was looking for causes of ancestors that might have been brain related. I couldn't find my grandfathers and asked her if she had a copy. Here we are sitting at dinner waiting to order and guess what she pulls out of her purse. Yes, his death certificate but it got even worse. She said guess what else I found? It was the 2 page eulogy that a friend had written when my grandmother passed away. Oh boy, I'm thinking to myself, please don't do this to me in a restaurant.

She then proceeds to tell me how she read it and cried. Then she read it out loud to my uncle and said she kept crying and had a hard time reading it. And she's all teary eyed telling me this. She says, I guess you don't want to read it? No, I don't. Don said he couldn't believe she was doing this. He said the look on my face was like if only I had a knife, I'd kill this bitch. I have been so emotional and I was just struggling to stay calm and not burst out crying. The waitress come up to take our order and she continued talking about it and Don just started ordering. I was in shock at the rudeness of this woman but I shouldn't be after all these years.

After dinner they came in our house for awhile to see Gregory, our cat. I was showing her something on the computer and I so wanted to say so, would you like to see some pictures of my brain? But I didn't and Don said I should have after what she pulled at dinner.

Well, I think I got this rant out of my system. If you managed to read through it all, I thank you. lol And now, I wait for todays phone call to hear ... So, how are you feeling today, any headache?

Another Day, Another Chili

I'm sure anyone reading this will think I am obsessed with Wendy's and their Chili. Yes, it seems that I have to take photos of every cup of it that I get. Really I wouldn't do this if the damn cup was full. But here again, it is not full. This time I measured and it's 3/4 of an inch from the top. Same Wendy's as before.

At least, this cup is cleaner than the other one and does have a few more pieces of meat and beans in it.

Does this look full to you?

My rant for the day!

I eat a lot of Wendy's Chili since I had my gastric bypass 2 years ago. It has lots of protein and even better, it agrees with my pouch (term used for what's left of my stomach).

But lately when I get a large chili, it is never full. I can understand it not being all the way to the top but this much below the top is just not right. I get 3 meals out of this chili and love it so much but why can't they fill it up a bit more? And look at the slop down the side. At least they could have wiped it off. Come on, Wendy's, at least wipe off the cup and throw in a few extra pieces of meat for me.

Is it just the Wendy's that I go to or are they doing this all over the country? Just wondering...