I have not talked to the aunt that I mentioned in a previous post for a couple of days and haven't any plans to do so. I feel bad about it but at the same time... feel a bit of relief.
We were talking about when my surgery is and she questioned me over and over about how it was going to be done. I told her the doctor told me either way would be possible. In some instances, coiling isn't possible. In my cause, it was so that is what I prefer. She couldn't understand how the doctor would let me decide what to do. Well, wasn't the purpose of the angiogram to decide how it had to be done? She kept asking me that over and over. And I kept saying, yes, but it showed that either way could be done. He couldn't very well decide to coil if the type of aneurysm I have it wouldn't work with. But she just couldn't comprehend why the doctor let me decide.
This must have went on for 20 minutes. The same fucking questions over and over. Why would he let you decide? He's the doctor. What was the purpose of the angiogram if you're going to decide, not the surgeon? OMG, I answered the same questions and explained it over and over. Felt like I was playing 20 questions with the same questions repeated 10 times! She brought up her cousin who had heart surgery and was given the option of the type of valve. Okay, so he was given a choice too. BUT he isn't a doctor and he asked the doctor what one he advised.
When she heard I would probably come home the next day... are you kidding me? well, you'll be in ICU the first day, right? No. Well, you'll be in a 24 hour watch, I'm sure. They can't just put you in a room and ignore you. No. Now, I also went to a seminar last week at another hospital and that doctor said most patients go home the next day too. I told her that. She has always doubted my doctors and I could hear it in her voice and it was really pissing me off but I kept patiently answering the same questions over and over and over again.
After hearing, I don't know how a doctor could let you decide the surgery for what seemed like the hundredth time, I calmly said would you like my surgeons phone number so you can call him? Holy shit, she went off on me with "that voice". See, it's okay for her to say what she wants but don't you ever dare say something back to her. I said well, you don't seem to think much of what I've told you. Now, why would you think I want to talk to him??? Then I raised my voice. I didn't yell because truthfully I'm afraid of bursting the bubble in my brain! I was told to keep calm and my blood pressure down. After raising my voice to her, she says, why are you yelling at me? WTF? I was not yelling at her. My husband was in the room and he knows I didn't yell at her.
She says in her damn snotty tone, I think we need to change subjects. Oh, yeah, I said, definitely. And she says again about me yelling. I said okay, I've had enough of this and hung up. Then I cry, why does she do this me? Hubby was so mad and kept telling me to calm down. I haven't let myself cry this hard since hearing I had an aneurysm.
Well, it gets worse. My son was so upset over all this and after we went to bed, he decided to go visit them. I didn't know about it until 2 days later when he told me what he had done. It evidently was very nasty. He asked her why she was trying to kill his mother and that started a war. He says that he is 26 years old and has seen how she treats me and was fed up with it. I guess the first thing she told him was that I yelled at her. So this was all my fault. He told me everything he brought up, she would twist to make it my fault.
I do feel bad about all of this. I guess I was supposed to just take her shit like I've done for 54 years and not said anything.
I'm just so tired of it all.